Saturday, 13 August 2011

Sweet release

Feelings caught in stifled space
held within the muggy monotony
moving in treacle motion
rotation, always forwards.

Gazing heavenwards, scanning
brittle patience snapping
seeking the change
bringing the reprieve.

Sailing in, riding high
suppressed heat rising
meeting sky iced thoughts
bubbling formation begins.

First a subtle stirring breeze
parched yearning increasing
slowly the cool spirals
kiss sun burnt stems.

Heat pulsating from core
each grain, molecule, heartbeat
begging to consume, feel
cool fingers trailing through.

With the first touch it starts
electric sparks as droplets fall
each hit making dust dance
entranced the song is formed.

Lost in abandonment
sweet release calls
washing away tensions
cleansed, almost complete.

Waiting is finally over
tumultuous vibrations tear
at seams striking home
burnish stroke hits stone.


  1. I like your choice of active verbs that make your writing come alive. Glad to meet you at the Pub!

  2. I like the heat rising from this poem....

    Lovely share ~

  3. I love summer storms, and I've never read a description of one like this - really nice, culminating in a lightning strike, one of the most awesome scenes in nature.

  4. Mmmm...loved this and the last stanza really rocked it!

  5. nice...i love to stand on the porch amidst the storm and watch it in all its fury...thanks for bringin it alive for me tonight..

  6. great verbs - my fav is the last line of burnish strike hits stone

  7. Great capture of the moment, can be very illuminating watching summer storms.

  8. I am not a fan of the Summer heat as experienced in North America, but I think you did an absolutely fabulous job of capturing it on paper here along with the lightening strike at the end. Wonderful poetry!

  9. I was right there with you, watching that storm. Your action verbs gave it harrowing accountability and readability!

  10. Skilfully constructed, exhibiting great tension and employing alliteration to brilliant effect.

  11. I wish it would rain here, your poem reminds me of those thrilling rain drops that make the dust dance.

    Beautiful poem and site here!

  12. Wonderful language, wonderful words, wonderful write! (Seems I've been say that lots today! lol) There are so many lines and phrases I could point to as favorites, but not without detracting from the awesomeness of the whole. Loved it!

  13. at seams striking home
    burnish stroke hits stone.

    This became an aural experience at the end, well-crafted, vivid imagery throughout. Thank you